poisoned

This was a lesson in habits. And how nearly-dropped bad habits and possibly-avoided bad choices are best dropped and avoided.

In the last 48 hours, I've done two things I don't normally do. And I've paid the price.

A couple years ago, I largely quit drinking. I was mostly a social drinker, and I'm not an alcoholic, I just...lost interest. I think because I discovered martial arts and realized that was a bigger buzz...LOL. Have I had a drink since then? On occasion, but its been rare.

A few months ago, someone I know was giving out small bottles of mix. It was a mix for a specialty cocktail, add your own booze. At some point I picked up two nips to add to the mix and tossed them in my freezer, largely forgotten.

Forgotten until Sunday night. I had done 16 hours of programming on Sunday, half of it for my class and half of it to help with a friend's project. It was a long day but I made two significant accomplishments, which I was thrilled about. I went to the freezer to get some ice, and saw the nips. Why the heck not, I thought to myself. Its about midnight now, and I don't have to be anywhere until 4PM tomorrow.

After digging up the mix from my cabinet, I pulled out a tall glass, filled it with ice, added the mix, added the nips, stirred it up with a straw, and took a sip. It wasn't bad. I sat down on the couch and my attention drifted between SportsCenter and the video games on my laptop. There were worse ways to unwind from the day.

The drink was never finished. I drank about a third of it. It just didn't seem that enjoyable, and I was getting bored with ESPN and my games. A bottle of SmartWater seemed a lot more appealing. I grabbed one out of the fridge and went off to bed.

I didn't have a very good dream. At one point I was someplace strange, the middle of a very odd city, and I sunk to the sidewalk, doubled over in pain. It was a terrible feeling. I woke up, relieved that it was only a dream. I turned over, tried to ease myself back to sleep, only to find that....it wasn't a dream. I won't go in to details except to say that the next few hours were rather horrifying. At one point, the thought crossed my mind that this was what it was like to be poisoned.

I didn't eat very much on Monday. Which, was a mistake, because by the time I got out of work I was starving. Unfortunately the only thing open at that hour of the night is a fast food joint and a gas station. I decided to try my luck at the fast food joint....which is another thing that I had largely given up doing. $2.31 later, I was on my way and settled in for my hour-long drive back home.

After arriving home, I felt very worn out. I sat down on my living room futon, and put on SportsCenter again, hoping to catch some Red Sox highlights. I felt unusually tired, and didn't even feel up for the walk to my bedroom. I clicked off the TV and pulled a blanket over myself.

Once again, I was met with a terrible dream. Instead of surrealistic images, however, this one seemed disturbingly real. I had gone comatose on the couch and something had gone terribly wrong. A rescue squad had entered my apartment, looking for me, but I had sunk so far under my comforter that the didn't realize I was there. I knew they were there, and tried shouting out to them but found that I couldn't make a sound. Most of the squad left the apartment, yet I felt like there was one person remaining. I felt the blanket being shifted about by my feet, then felt cool air when my toes were uncovered. I was then yanked by the ankles and pulled off the futon. As my head hit the floor I cried out, but I still didn't have control of my voice. "What is going on?" I asked in a slurred tone. No answer, as I was dragged towards the door of my apartment. "What is going on?" I asked again, as I was being dragged out the door, in to the hallway. I tried to fight back but my arms were useless. "Who are you?" I shouted, hoping to wake a neighbor up. The front door to the building opened, the cold air rushed in, and my ankles were summarily dropped to the ground...and I woke up, on my living room futon, still fully covered under my comforter.

For the next hour or so I thought about the imagery in the dream, and tried to do my own interpretation. I didn't arrive at a pleasant conclusion...naturally. Disturbing imagery is hardly a bellwether of something nice. I pondered for a bit about how the conclusion in my dreams could be escaped or avoided. It was clear that I wasn't going to be going back to sleep.

Esoteric imagery aside, there is a practical explanation to all of this. The mix that my friend gave me had gone bad over time, causing the (ahem) distress, possibly in combination with the alcohol. Going to sleep roughly an hour after eating probably isn't the best idea...especially after startling my body with stuff that I don't normally eat.

But it reminded me of the social situations when I've been around someone that was trying to cut back on something-or-other, and that person was met with resistance instead of support. "Just try it. Oh come on, one can't hurt you."

Two nights of sleep disrupted by a drink that cost less than $2.50 and a meal that cost less than $2.50. One can hurt you. Two nights of sleep in a row disrupted by something that could have been avoided had I simply stayed committed to a better choice. Migod I hate learning lessons the hard way.